My room smells like vodka and shame
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
