I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
