I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
