Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
