The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Randomize