you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
