Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
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