If i come over, it means nothing
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
You smell like stripper and shame
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
