Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
