So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
