i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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