I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
