glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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