I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize