so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
