i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
