I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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