your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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