chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
