Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize