dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
