am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
