My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
