I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
