Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
