Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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