I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
