What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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