We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
