so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
