i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
