just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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