That's intense
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
