They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
