perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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