and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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