my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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