she kept yelling 'call me bella'
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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