Duck Duck Cougar?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
