In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
