i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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