So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
