Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
whose parrot is this?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
