Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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