dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
3 2 1 whiskey
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
