I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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