farters have to be the big spoon...
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
We got so high we made milksteak
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize