So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
