I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
