Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
