Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
It's Friday. Sex?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
