I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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