Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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