Acid is not a monday night drug
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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