we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
