Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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