Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
