sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
