the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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